Robert’s Ramblings: It’s Just a Number
When I started down this recent healthy eating path (in addition to my normal CrossFit routine), that was back in June. I had in my head to lose 50 lbs, by November. That gave me about 5-6 months. Losing about 10 lbs. a month was not an unrealistic expectation for me (I’ve done it before). So, we’re almost through to the end of October, and I’m down 39 lbs. Not 50. Hell, not even 40. So clearly I must suck at life and I’m a failure. The small voice in my head said that briefly. Although I began to reflect on this a bit more. (Spoiler: No, I’m not)
First, I’m down 39 lbs! That is not a small feat. So, is the number hitting the initial goal I set? No. But I’ve come to accept the progress that I’ve made to date, and to value/celebrate that. Everyone falls short on something, and it’s so easy to focus on a single number. Believe me, I do that a lot. This is not an all or nothing game though; I’m over 75% to my initial goal!
Now the number on the scale isn’t the smallest I’ve ever been. However, from going through the clothes in my closet, I’m fitting into the smallest clothes I’ve owned. Which demonstrates that your weight is not the be all end all. When I was at a lower weight, I was just running everyday, no strength work. So it makes sense that now that I’m fitting more high intensity/strength (i.e., CrossFit) into my routine, I probably have maintained more muscle, lost more fat, and still fit into all my small clothes and can workout without a shirt on (Note: see previous co-blog written by Janice and I)
In general, I’ve come to find out that for me, it’s difficult to lose weight in the winter. I have many activities going on, so my CrossFit schedule suffers a little. Combined with work and an upcoming vacation, I’ve shifted my focus/goals for the coming months to maintain where I’m at; maybe improve my strength a bit during that time. Be it weight and/or fitting into all the clothes I’m currently fitting into, changing the goal is fine. When I was thinking about this further, the 50 lbs. and the time I wanted to do it was an arbitrary goal/point. There wasn’t anything specific that was going on by the end date. So there isn’t really a problem by making a new goal based on the current situation. So, considering my work/vacation travels coming up, this is an acceptable plan in my head.
While the number on the scale isn’t where I initially wanted it, some of my movements are feeling exceptionally good. My pull-ups and toes-to-bars I feel I am stringing more of them together consistently. For some WoDs, I’ve increased my working weight (for shoulder to overhead and clean & jerks, for example). I broke my Jackie PR by about 30 seconds recently when I was dropping in at a box in Canada (best time in the class session I was in, and 2nd best time of the day at the box), and I’m doing my first solo comp. this weekend (blog to come about that)
So while I may not be at the lowest weight I’ve ever been at, I’m probably at the best point in me liking the way I look, my performance level, and feeling positive about how I look. And that’s more important than any number on a scale.